It has been so long since I have written here. I have friends and family who do not participate in FaceTime and ask why I do not write blog posts any more. I think it is sad that the less writing people have to do, the more popular. Used to be blogs, then people went to FaceBook, then to Twitter (140 characters!) and then to Instagram where one barely needs to write anything. A sad commentary on today's communication, I think. No wonder kids do not know how to write.
Well, here it is!
I was inspired to write tonight because, despite feeling not-so-great a lot of the time, life is pretty good. I could almost say that I am happy! I was able to celebrate Charlie turning 7 last week, something I never thought I would see. Plus, I am able to have conversations with him, something I could only dream about a couple of years ago -----when his speech consisted of a few sounds and when I thought this cancer was going to kill me sooner rather than later. I have lived long enough to experience Clara the fashionista "liking" me instead of running away from me. The difference between them is astounding....she says she "might" come and stay with me sometime while Charlie says he is coming to stay with us for 29 days!
Tonight I cooked dinner (something I try not to do more than 3 times a week, and usually simple recipes), went upstairs and got into my nightgown, and came back downstairs again to watch my "trash TV". Then I went back upstairs to get something that I had forgotten. Not so long ago, cooking a meal was an impossibility and going up and down the steps more than once a day was too exhausting to contemplate.
Coming down the steps, it suddenly hit me exactly WHAT and how much I am able to do. Nothing like what I did "before", but more. I will never be able to travel again; it will remain difficult to do too much in one day; taking care of the grands for an extended period of time will be hard (but I will do it); I will never be as quick-witted as I once was.
I am hopeful that my constant and overwhelming fatigue will be resolved by wearing one of those damn masks for my recently diagnosed sleep apnea. And also when my doctors figure out why I have a slow, irregularly irregular heart beat. It's always something. All of my problems are thanks to the "wonders" of chemotherapy and radiation. My oncologist has decided that I have a condition called Pelvic Radiation Disease, which can appear years after radiology. It affect bodily functions and there is no treatment. There is a lot of research going on in England but pretty much nothing here.
I am "moving" to the beach in about 10 days and am looking forward to getting there (but not all the packing and unpacking!).
Here are my "babies".
Will try to come back sooner!